Thursday, April 25, 2013

Our Story

So, you know how some people say "We weren't even trying to get pregnant..." or  "We only tried for a month!"  ---- Yeah, that isn't our story.  We are happy for couples who are lucky enough to get pregnant that way, but unfortunately, not every couple has such an easy time.

Jim and I have tried for almost 2 years to get pregnant and stay pregnant.  After trying naturally for about 9 months, my doctor gave us a little help in the form of medicine. After one month with the medicine-- we were pregnant! All was going well until we went to our 'heartbeat' appointment' and

Crushed. Devastated. Lonely.

It's strange because when you have a miscarriage, you hear of so many people who have had one as well, although you have never heard that about them before.  No one talks about it until it happens.  I was thankful for people opening up to me about their pregnancy losses, but it didn't bring a heartbeat back to my baby.  I am not sure what I needed in that moment, but I am desperately searching for an answer because I know so many others needed 'something' in that terrible time...but what?  I am not sure how a conversation would begin about miscarriage, when someone isn't going through it...but I have tried to be open about our story.  I want people to know that they can come to Jim and I during such a tragic time and while we might not have words to say (because there aren't any)...we do understand.  We understand each emotion and feeling that comes along with pregnancy loss.

We have been fortunate enough to get pregnant two more times.  I know for some people the struggle is getting pregnant.  So we are thankful that we were blessed with getting pregnant...even with help from medicine.  Unfortunately, both lead to miscarriages again.

So in 2012, we got pregnant 3 times and lost 3 babies.  To say we were ready for 2013 was an understatement!

My regular ob/gyn referred us to an infertility specialist in January.  We were so thankful for the knowledge that our specialist has.  After one round of treatment with her...we were Pregnant again!  As usual, we were very timid with our emotions and waited causiously for our 6 week appointment where we would 'hopefully' see a heartbeat.

We went in for that appointment with one emotion...anxious. We were anxious to know whether we would see a heartbeat for the first time ever, or be told the news that was all too familiar. After waiting for what seemed like forever, they took us back and did the ultrasound.  It was then we fell head over heels in love with a tiny flicker on the ultrasound screen.  There was a heartbeat!

Since then, I have been released back to my regular doctor (whom I also love and has given us many ultrasounds since!!) We have had plenty of wonderful appointments where everything looks textbook!  I am now on a "regular" schedule of appointments, so I will go back in 4 weeks.

I have been sick since 6 weeks and while I am thankful for the reason of the sickness... I would be perfectly fine with it diminishing at any moment :o)  Luckily, I have had more "night sickness" instead of  "morning sickness", which has been good for a school teacher!  I couldn't imagine trying to get through the school day while feeling so sick--- because in the evening, I just choose to go to bed so I don't think about it-- not really an option during the school day!

It has been a long road to get to this point, and although I wouldn't say we are thankful for the journey, I will say it has made us appreciate each and every day that I have remained pregnant.  I know everyone is thankful for their children... but we are even more aware of the miracle that getting pregnant and staying pregnant is.  What a blessing from God!  We will be forever thankful!

1 comment:

Kim said...

I found you through Kelly's Korner. Congratulations on the pregnancy! I had a miscarriage in January that began as a no heartbeat at the Dr. appointment. It's devestating. Awful feeling in the days right after. Praying you'll have a healthy successful pregnancy.